Day by Day

     I feel I found a theme with my last post, and I want to keep with it. The theme is that of gradual, incremental growth over time. "Little by little" or "day by day". The message is the same in both of these phrases. It takes time and consistent effort to accomplish goals, to change our character, or to learn something new. 

    There is a tendency for myself and others to expect big changes or notable growth in a relatively small amount of time. It has been my experience in life, that things do not work this way. There are no quick fixes, get rich quick schemes, or life hacks that can transform an individual in a day. The allure of these kinds of methods is obvious, big results with minimal effort. 

    How many times have you gotten yourself really pumped up for something? With excitement in your eyes and unwavering energy you get to work. For example, you decide to get yourself into shape. You tell yourself, "this time I mean it." You plan to spend 2 hours a day, 6 days a week at the gym. You hit the gym for 2 hours that same day. You feel exhausted, yet invigorated. With determination you go to the gym again the next day, another 2 hours. Feels great. 

    The next day is Saturday and you cut yourself some slack to spend time with friends. You don't go to the gym that day. It's Sunday and let's say you like to set aside time to rest on Sundays, so no gym again. The next day, Monday, you come home from a busy day at work with no energy for the gym. You force yourself to go but can only manage an hour. Tuesday, another busy day at work, and you're sore all over, you decide to take a rest day. That rest day turns into 2 rest days and then 3 rest days. Now you're feeling out of the loop, like you've lost your progress. 

    At this point, there are two things we generally do. We either hype ourselves up to go at it again with increased determination or we give up on our goal. Let's say we take the first option and exercise consistently for a week. The next week, we hit another slump and find ourselves 5 days in without working out. 

    Again, we arrive at the decision. We can hype ourselves up for another week or we can abandon the goal to get into shape. We take a look at ourselves in the mirror. Looks pretty much the same, weight is about the same too. You feel that despite your efforts you haven't seen any progress. You decide to abandon the goal.

    There are a few things I want to point out in this scenario. First, that kind of hyped-up determination will only last so long. It burns itself out over time. It is not sustainable. Two hours a day, six days a week at the gym may be too much to ask, especially if you have a tiring job or family to take care of. If you find that a certain goal is not sustainable then it may be time to change it. Maybe it's more reasonable to do an hour and a half 4-5 times a week. Some trial and error may be necessary to find what works for you. Your goals should be subject to change. 

    The bigger issue I want to point out, in line with the theme of "day by day", is the expectation that significant growth or progress will be apparent in a short period of time. If you feel that your efforts are not matching your expectations, as I have many times in my life, there is a strong urge to simply give up altogether. There are better ways, however. 

    First, maybe we have to change our expectations. We cannot expect perfection of ourselves. We cannot expect significant growth in a short period of time. Maybe we need to set more reasonable goals and expect simple, gradual changes over time.

   Second, we may need to change our efforts. If we feel that we have reasonable and realistic expectations for ourselves, yet we are not achieving it, then maybe it is time to put some more effort in. Try doing a little bit more, remind yourself why you set the goal, and what you are striving to become. 

    Finally, if there remains a divide between your efforts and expectations, then patience and diligent effort over time may be required. The key thing to recognize is that progress does not occur in a moment. The old adage "Rome wasn't built in a day" speaks truth to this. If we strive day by day to become better and work towards our goals, then with time we will see the fruits of our labor.